Mazel Tov!
Your son will soon be celebrating
the most important milestone of
his adolescent Jewish life;
His Bar Mitzvah.
Bar Mitzvah marks a fundamental shift in life: A transition from ‘child’ to responsible, Jewish boy. The Bar Mitzvah boy should feel a sense of relevance and reverence as he undergoes preparation for his big day. The grand finale the actual celebration is a pivotal moment in life’s rhythmic circle and should be marked with more than just a party; a Bar-Mitzvah celebration needs a soul.
We want your son to feel anticipation. We want him to recognize his integral role as a link in our beautiful tradition and rich heritage. We want him to take pride in himself and his Jewish identity. We want to inspire him with a sense of responsibility toward his fellow human beings and, above all, to G‑d. And we want to do it in a way he can relate to without being overwhelmed by it all.
Our goal is to help your entire family realize the energy of this moment. The preparation for the Bar Mitzvah will hopefully be reflected in its successful outcome to the satisfaction of all.
Inside this booklet, you will find the beautifully choreographed & meaningful ceremonies we have developed for you to celebrate the Bar Mitzvah of your son. Please consider them carefully and share your thoughts with us that we may make concrete headway when we have the pleasure of meeting together with you.
PRELIMINARY MEETING
At the first meeting, the Rabbi will guide your family in determining your goals for this special event. Things to consider at this time: the Bar Mitzvah date, ceremony options, family participation, preliminary requirements etc.
ON-GOING COORDINATION
Once the overall direction is set, we will chart a trajectory to achieve all the aforementioned goals to their finality. We will remain in constant contact with the family and the celebrant to ensure appropriate progress is being made and that everyone involved is satisfied.
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When to start
A boy begins Bar Mitzvah preparation classes 1 year prior to his Bar Mitzvah. Classes are private, and are set up directly with the Rabbi. Classes are held once a week for a half hour to 45 minutes at a mutually convenient time. There is a $1600 fee for Bar Mitzvah tutoring and all other preparations that may be involved. Tefillin will need to be purchased before the Bar Mitzvah
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Age and Dates
Bar Mitzvah is the day on which a child becomes responsible for Mitzvot and accountable for both positive and negative behaviors under Jewish law. According to the Talmud, this takes place at as they develop and mature, at age 13. This happens automatically on their Jewish birth date, regardless of the way the day is marked. The ceremony and celebration should take place as close to the Jewish birthday as possible.
MITZVAH PRACTICE
The Torah is a program for life, a ‘user’s manual’ for healthy emotional and spiritual living. This isn't just theoretical; the Torah’s ideas need to find expression in actual day to day conduct. We encourage that the Bar Mitzvah Boy adopt the following practices:
· Twice monthly attendance at Shabbat Services beginning six months prior to the date of the celebration.
· Designating a Tzedaka box in his room and giving a coin to charity daily except on Shabbat and Holidays.
· In honor of the Bar Mitzvah, the celebrant is required to choose a Chesed (kindness/charity) project and volunteer his time on a regular basis to benefit others. We encourage creativity in this matter and ask that the parents guide their child in the decision process and it’s implementation.
The completed project should be displayed at the Bar Mitzvah Celebration.
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FORMAL INSTRUCTION
The Bar Mitzvah boy will embark on a one-to-one course of study to prepare him in the specifics of his Bar Mitzvah.
This will include:
· Discussions about the meaning and significance of becoming Bar Mitzvah.
· Learning how to put on Tefillin, the accompanying blessings, its meaning, makeup, and relevance.
· Studying the Haftorah reading, Torah reading, accompanying blessings, the meaning and relevance of the portions read during the ceremony.
· Assistance in the writing of the Bar Mitzvah speeches, and "Dvar Torah."
· Optional study for the leading of part of Shabbat services.
THE SERVICE
The Bar Mitzvah ceremony takes place on Saturday morning from 9:30am - 12:15 pm and is followed by a Kiddush that usually ends about 1 pm. Men and women are seated separately for the traditional service but are joined later for the Kiddush luncheon.
If you have not been to a service at Chabad, please come and participate in our intimate, traditional, and lively Shabbats. At each Bar Mitzvah, we are delighted with the wonderful comments from guests about the warmth and spirituality of the service.
THE BAR MITZVAH CEREMONY
The ceremony contains the following components (which may be altered):
· Morning services
· The BMB chants the Torah and Haftorah portion
· Candy Throw and Congratulations from everyone
· Rabbi’s comments
· D’var Torah
· Parents’ greeting
· Reception
Celebrating the Bar Mitzvah
Shabbat services should be followed by a Kiddush in honor of the Bar Mitzvah child. The Kiddush can be light refreshments or a buffet lunch and the menu is open as long as our Kashrut standards are met. Our regular worshippers will join in the Kiddush so when planning, don't forget to include an extra 40-50 guests.
Chabad approves certain caterers, meats, and bakeries. Please refer to the following page for ideas and suggestion in this regard.
WE’RE ALMOST THERE
We hope you find the following information helpful in your planning:
· Prayer services are led in Hebrew & English from a user-friendly, bi-lingual prayer-book.
· The Shabbat laws do not allow for pictures or filming. However, you are welcome to schedule a weekday photo or video session.
· Please submit the text for your invitation to us prior to typesetting in order to assure accuracy in scheduling and detail.
· We will provide a booklet to guide your guests through the Bar Mitzvah ceremony. You may print them on your own for color matching etc.
· We will provide candy for the candy-throw.
· You may choose to celebrate at the Chabad House or elsewhere when not on Shabbat. Please discuss Kiddush and catering options with us.
· If celebrating at Chabad, we will provide set-up and clean-up at an additional fee, please see Premises Usage Info Sheet.
· All food and liquor served following the service must meet the kosher standards of the Chabad House. Please consult the Rabbi for the list of accepted caterers to the left.
The total fee is $1,800
This includes:
Private Tutoring
Recording of Torah Portion
Bar Mitzvah Celebration
This does not include the Kiddush/caterer’s fees.
